The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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