think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
