Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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