Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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