So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i've created a new STD.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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