All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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