I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
