we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
this hospital has no fireball
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
