Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
