i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
