We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
