Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
