I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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