I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
