if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
