Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
