you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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