the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
