youre lurking in front of me
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
