You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
