no, he came in my armpit
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
