I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
God I need to hump something, right now.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
