So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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