and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I cut my penus on the lid.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
