This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
