at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
