She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
