I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have fence marks all over my body
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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