i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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