Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
worst night to have a conscience
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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