i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
