girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
