her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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