More tranny stories later!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
