I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
