i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
