how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
