Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
