He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
