operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
