you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just want to make out with him forever
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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