Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
