Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
