i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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