I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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