We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
