My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
