what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
