and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
