She announced her abortion via fbk
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
