You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
