Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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