My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
