is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
